Thursday, May 28, 2009

not a keeper

Hey there,
So this is the last week of school for my children and it has been so busy with events to partake.  Everyday, there is something: Monday, an attendance ceremony with gym awards,  then Gus's class awards and reading theatre.  Tuesday, elementary school concert.  Sami sang in a quartet and Sarah and Gus both played the bongo drum.  Wednesday, Sarah's class awards and summer party bash.  Today, Thursday, Sami class awards and closing chapel, then they are home and school is out.  Lots of things to be a part of yet try to get things done for "ministry" at the same time.  I know, sounds like I am complaining and I definitely don't feel like the "Homeroom mom", I am the farthest thing from it.  My kids come home everyday from school with homework papers or papers that they have completed and Gus says, "you can show mom, but she will just throw them away."  It is true.  I am not a keeper.  I don't get into the nostalgia of keeping things that maybe someday, years later, I will look at and it will help remind me of the "good ole days" and I will tear up.....  Nor, do I want to hand to my children someday all of their papers from 13 years of school and tell them to keep them.  BUT, to my surprise.... as I go to these events, the school concert for example, I look at Sami and I am overwhelmed with how big she is and I cannot believe she is singing in a quartet with three other boys and is doing great and then something crazy happens.... I get this lump in my throat and my eyes get watery and I feel so proud of her.  Then, it is Gus's class, he gets an award for being a Math and Reading Monster and it happens again, this awkward feeling in my nose and I tear up....  He is so good at his schoolwork!  Okay, so then it is Sarah's turn and I see her up in front of a hundred people in a choir and she is turning out to be so pretty.  She has rythym (definitely my side of the family), she is enjoying her moment and I am struck by her beauty of who she is becoming as a girl who desperately tries to love God daily and figure out what that looks like for her.  And tears just flow.  It is like everyday is a hormonal day....  What is that???  Am I going to be the mother who starts keeping things????  Gosh, I hope not.  Maybe though I am learning that I love my kids and can feel so proud of them.  Even if I am not the den mother who organizes all the children to buy the teacher a gift, I am the mother who does want to be at these events and encourage them and love on them to be who they are created to be daily.    I may not be a keeper but I am a good mother even if Gus, daily, asks for a dog and daily, we say no, and daily he acts hurt and surprised at our response and pouts.... it is so aggravating!!!!

Oh, by the way, random thought, yesterday it poured and guess what????  It hailed forever.  We had mounds of ice that looked like snow when it was complete.  Who knew Africa could get hail, on the equator????  Exciting times!!


  1. Thinking of you while we have graduation and end of school too. Sounds like your kids fit in so quickly. You have a lot to be proud of with your kids and your husband. Hail. How fun. We love you guys.

  2. Cor,

    I think you are a GREAT mom. You are a keeper and a "saver" of experiences of the heart and spirit(so much easier to store).

    I realized this morning that what made my time with you and John were the experiences of the presence of the Holy Spirit-the village child who came alongside me and took my hand, the toddler who climbed up on my lap during Sunday worship, the time with all of you, the excitement of the safari and seeing a lion in the wild. Eileen and I took hundreds of photos, but these will be printed and placed on a shelf (after we have bored our friends with them) and then left for you and others to deal with someday, but the experiences I will have as long as I have memory and when I don't it won't matter.



  3. Corrie,
    I can't describe the feelings that you will have when one day you look at your son and say "when did you grow up?" I never thought of myself as a keeper but I am finding more and more stuff that I have kept from my kids school life too. Children are a reward from God, I'm sure that on this great journey you are on you will find a way to become a non-keeper and a partial keeper too.
    Enjoy all the moments at these ages, they disappear far to quickly.

  4. Hey Cor!

    I like to think of my 'not a keeper' tendencies like this ... I'm holding 'loosely' onto the things of this earth! :D It seems to help a little when I get a twinge of 'should I save this or that' guilt!

    Seriously though, I think it's why I take so many photographs. I want to preserve the memory of our families' milestones for our enjoyment, for my children and (someday) grandchildren; but I don't want every scrap of paper, widget, handwriting sample, etc. to clutter up my (house, attic, mind, refrigerator, you name it)!

    I love that you had HAIL at the equator! What a neat thing to experience ... did ya get a picture? ::wink wink:: I'd love to see!