Monday, June 20, 2011

One last running analogy

Before I get into my running analogy, I just thought I would give you some photos showing how the last couple of months have been filled.
Lots of family time, siblings, grandparents, past friendships along with some new friendships and visiting varying churches that have been a part of our lives while overseas for the last few years.
We are so grateful for each one of these times and relationships.

The picture of Gus being tied up is just one way my children have been amusing themselves. If any of you are thinking, "ahhh, poor Gus." Don't. He deserves it most of the time. :)

John and I were running this morning. We are starting to find a routine in our running outings again since living in Montgomery. We run at least two or three mornings together while having other avenues of running the rest of the week.

Since moving here, in Montgomery, we have found a path that suits us both. It is about a five mile run down major streets, through neighborhoods and over bridges, etc... It works for us, but the other hard part for me personally is that there are a few times where we need to cross over major roads. We run real early, so for the most part not an issue, but occasionally when we cross, there just happens to be that ONE car that is cruising down the street at 6am. Usually what happens is that John will say, "Let's go and cross now." which at that point, I usually turn my head, check the surroundings and my visuals (hard for me to see that early and with my eyesight failing more often than not), then stutter my start due to my own risk assessment. Most of the time, it causes frustrations because I assess risk differently than he does and maybe we should have crossed earlier or later than what he was suggesting.

HOWEVER, today I mentally thought I am not going to check at all when he communicates that it is time to cross over the road, I will just trust that he loves me and he has my best interest and move forward as he suggests. Well, it was great. No stress on my part, no frustration on his part and we continued running in a smooth pattern.

WELL, lo and behold, it dawned on me. I wonder how much I do that to the Lord? He says to me, "Corrie, it is time to cross over" and then I look to see what the risk will be and then move forward as to what I deem safe and timely. I think I do it a lot, in so many little areas. And, especially now while John and I are waiting on the Lord for direction. I am sitting back in my bedroom assessing. Assessing what would work best for the kids, or what might be best for John or what would best use my skill set, etc... there is no end to my assessing.

I think some of you might be thinking now, "wait, Corrie, God calls us to wisdom and using our brains." I know that, but I am coming from the perspective of overusing our minds and wisdom to a point where we can logically "hault" when God calls us to "move" with no regard to the risk assessment because truly God has a different definition of risk than we do, but even more importantly for me to remember is that God loves me and ultimately has His people's best interest in mind all the time.

Believe it or not, this was a big "ah hah" moment for me. Almost a burden lifted. My only responsibility during this period is to wait and continue running where I can until He tells me to cross over. AND, when He does, I need to just cross over and continue to follow the one who loves me and will give me whatever it is I need in whatever moment I need it.

Isn't running great?!

One last thought, this is my last blog entry for awhile. I am sensing the need to close it down. Thank you to you readers out there. I have enjoyed hearing from you. When we know what is next for us, I will blog about it and we will be sending out an old fashioned newsletter for those of you who support us to receive. Please continue to let me know what is going on, whether through commenting on this blog or sending me personal emails. I love it.
If you want to support us and become a partner in the cause for the orphan, please send me an email as well, and I can let you know the options before you.

In the meanwhile, continue running and enjoy each step! God Bless!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

a revelation that brought a right peace

Does that title even make sense, really?

Officially, we are moved into our last home (for awhile anyway). The kids are gone spending time with grandparents and John and I are getting away as a couple for a few days at a place called Innkeepers. I am excited to spend some time looking face to face at my husband without the challenge of having purposeful conversations around the children. I am sure a few of you understand and know what I am saying.

We have had a lot of questions asked our way recently wondering if the Lord had brought any clarity to our future. We have been here/home a couple of months and curiousity is peaked, not only from others but from John and I as well. As if it was some exciting adventure that the world deems exciting and adventurous is awaiting us around the "decision" bend. Don't get me wrong anywhere the Lord leads our family will truly be exciting and adventurous. It just might not be the world's definition of "exciting and adventurous". There is a distinction! I don't want to disappoint what others are expecting, right?

As I was working through bible study this morning, I came to a peaceful realization that so much of self (well really all of it) springs: self-justification, self-glorification, self-deception, and self-gratification. BUT, the key is to return my eyes to the Lord. I cannot be overcome by my "self" but what I can do is be overcome every single morning by the Lord and his mercies and moment by moment make choices of obedience, no matter how boring, how mundane, how not exciting they may seem to others and myself.

Just this thought alone, created in my heart a serenity of peace. Maybe I don't have the future planned and as much as I would like to create something exciting to tell people of what the future might hold, I cannot. We just don't know, yet. So, this morning I will obey and live a day that brings God honor, glory and praise. And if at some point, my eyes turn toward "self", I will humbly regain the proper gaze and move forward again and again and again.

I pray you do the same as well. Not for other's sake, but for the glory of the Lord!

Friday, June 3, 2011

pursuing Christ through pretense

I was asked the question this week in the bible study, Gospel Transformation, "Where do you pretend?" It was going through the idea of pretense and how we all, in some way, shape or form, put out a pretense to others for various reasons. If you think about it, it is a really loaded question. Where do I pretend? The truth is, I do pretend sometimes. I hope not all the time, nor even most of the time.... but I do have my moments when I do.

It has been so good for me to realize my own pretense as I think about pursuing Christ more authentically. A dear, close friend of mine in Jos wrote me an email a bit ago and I reread it today and it was what I needed to hear.

"Remember that your goal is the pursuit of Christ, not the pursuit of missions. Despite all the amazing things Paul did, he said “this one thing I do…” and that was to pursue Christ. If pursuing Christ means making a change, it will be sad and you will grieve the change, but be comforted that it does not mean you are not being faithful to God or are not serving/obeying him."

As this time of transition moves forward and as I keep my eyes focused on the Author and Perfecter of my faith, change might be what naturally happens, and it is okay. Where do I pretend? I pray it is never in my own walk before the Lord.