The "PIT" within

We leave in less than seven hours and I cannot sleep.  John and I said goodbye to my parents last night and my older sister and her family and will shortly pull out of my younger sister's driveway.  I feel so sad.  Less than three weeks ago we had to say goodbye to the life of community and family we had come to love in Monterrey, Mexico and this "PIT" keeps coming back and haunting me.  I am looking at it in a way of inner turmoil.  My heart feeling the connection of relationships and yet recognizing and knowing that those relationships will be changed.  Change is not always bad, but it is still change.  You would think it gets easier, and sometimes it does, but not as of recently.  

As John and I and the kids have had to say goodbye to so many so far, we are not yet done.  We leave NC tomorrow to head to Cincinnati for a short visit and then ultimately head on to our final USA destination of Indianapolis.  We fly out of there on February 11th!!

Every time we have had to say goodbye, I get this overwhelming feeling of the "bigness" of what we are about to become apart of and I become so nervous!!  I just finished reading this book called "I am not but I know I AM" by Louie Giglio and the timing has been perfect.  The premise of the book has been it is not about me and my lack of giftings (okay, this is my interpretation and take home of the book) for the task at hand but it is about iamnot but I do know the great I AM!!!  This might not mean much to you because the book is in the car and it is very cold outside and I am not going to get it right now so you can really get a good quote out of it, but either way, I was encouraged to know that moving to Africa isn't about John and Corrie going there and doing some good..... NO..... it is about John and Corrie moving to  Africa and joining in on what God is doing and we just feel blessed to be a part of his HUGE PLAN!!!

So, to bring this full circle.....  every goodbye to friend, family, church and relationship that has me with this "PIT",  I cannot help but feel another step closer to where we know as a family we are supposed to be and that brings excitement of a niave way....  one that is a little clueless to what life will look like and one that is ready to trust the Lord with it.