Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The "PIT" within

We leave in less than seven hours and I cannot sleep.  John and I said goodbye to my parents last night and my older sister and her family and will shortly pull out of my younger sister's driveway.  I feel so sad.  Less than three weeks ago we had to say goodbye to the life of community and family we had come to love in Monterrey, Mexico and this "PIT" keeps coming back and haunting me.  I am looking at it in a way of inner turmoil.  My heart feeling the connection of relationships and yet recognizing and knowing that those relationships will be changed.  Change is not always bad, but it is still change.  You would think it gets easier, and sometimes it does, but not as of recently.  
As John and I and the kids have had to say goodbye to so many so far, we are not yet done.  We leave NC tomorrow to head to Cincinnati for a short visit and then ultimately head on to our final USA destination of Indianapolis.  We fly out of there on February 11th!!
Every time we have had to say goodbye, I get this overwhelming feeling of the "bigness" of what we are about to become apart of and I become so nervous!!  I just finished reading this book called "I am not but I know I AM" by Louie Giglio and the timing has been perfect.  The premise of the book has been it is not about me and my lack of giftings (okay, this is my interpretation and take home of the book) for the task at hand but it is about iamnot but I do know the great I AM!!!  This might not mean much to you because the book is in the car and it is very cold outside and I am not going to get it right now so you can really get a good quote out of it, but either way, I was encouraged to know that moving to Africa isn't about John and Corrie going there and doing some good..... NO..... it is about John and Corrie moving to  Africa and joining in on what God is doing and we just feel blessed to be a part of his HUGE PLAN!!!
So, to bring this full circle.....  every goodbye to friend, family, church and relationship that has me with this "PIT",  I cannot help but feel another step closer to where we know as a family we are supposed to be and that brings excitement of a niave way....  one that is a little clueless to what life will look like and one that is ready to trust the Lord with it.

6 comments:

  1. I love this post. Corrie, you are gifting in communicating, don't ever underestimate it. I am reminded after reading here that I need to always remember that God is the great I AM. It puts less pressure on us when we depend on Him. I am praying for you all. Luke has missed Gus a lot and Ben says Emma is feeling out numbered. Mark is missing Sami and sometimes says things like "Do you think Sami did this too?" We still feel the PIT but know God is going to use you all. He is a BIG God trust Him for it.. I know you are. Love you

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  2. Corrie,
    How are you? I must say that I am having a hard time feeling at home in our new place. It just isn't the same being here unless I've broken in without your knowledge and am taking pictures of myself in various places of your home. Know what I mean?

    Anyway, I wanted to say that I know what you mean by that "pit" feeling. I've felt it before myself. As I read your blog God put Abraham on my mind and his big move from his country, his people going to the land that God would show him once he got there. He must have had quite a "pit" as well. Then I got to thinking that with your "pit", you are in pretty good company with other people that must have felt the "pit":
    Noah, when he built and built and built with nary a raincloud over head;
    Moses, when he went before Pharaoh with his stuttering tongue, again and again;
    Joseph, must have been in a "pit" when he was in the pit;
    David, when he knew he was God's chosen man to be king but had to sleep with one eye open when Saul was trying to kill him;
    Shadrack and those other guys, when they were heating up the furnace;
    the disciples when they watched Jesus ascend to heaven with the Great Commission in their hearts.

    I know that you know this stuff but sometimes I think it is good to remind ourselves that sometimes for God followers, life is just the pits and that's not a bad place to be (Not that you were complaining). Anyway, we miss you guys terribly. Please tell John I miss him a great deal (haven't really been sick since he's been gone, if you know what I mean?!)

    Greg

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  3. Hi cor and fam! thanks for the blog. Reading this has inspired me to pray for your family more than ever! i know that you are going to do great at whatever you do, so long as you put the Lord first. PITS are so hard, worse than first days, i think. i know that you are strong, so very strong, and that the Lord is going to be traveling with you and in you. i pray tonight especially that you feel his presence stronger than ever. thank you for devoting your lives to Christ and for sharing them with me and so many others! i miss you mucho... please stay in touch when you can.

    i have brought the "embrace the tension" to new york with me, by the way. and i hope this works... this is my first blog comment!

    kathryn gurley

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  4. Hi Corrie and John and Kids,
    This is mom - we're feeling a "pit" now too because we know it will be long while till we're together again. It was a special time having you all "home" for these past two and half weeks but as always, it went by way too quickly. We know you know that we'll be praying for each of you throughout the day. Just like in that mouse movie (can't remember the name) there was a sweet song about "sharing the same moon" - that helps knowing we're sharing the same big God and knowing He's keeping you close. It goes without saying how much you are loved by Daddy and I. (This is my very first blog ever!!)

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  5. HEY my blogging friends! We're praying you all through the PIT! Wow 13 more days...I'm glad that we get to go on the journey with you. Mindy

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  6. Corrie,
    I am sitting here with tears running down my face just reading what you have written. I cannot even imagine from a human standpoint what you all are about to imbark upon. But I know God has such incredible plans for all of you.
    Just know that my prayers go with you.
    Renee Clifton
    Southbrook Christian Church
    Dayton, OH

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