uncovered quietness

Isaiah 32:17

The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness

will be quietness and confidence forever.

I woke up this morning with an anxiety that kept growing and growing. Lots of thoughts going through my mind and realizing that my anxiety is stemmed from others opinions of me. It is such a challenge to want people to see the best in you, even though it is not what is always shown.

Even worse, people who don't know you and don't know your character are liable to jump to wrong conclusions and my instant desire is to defend myself, over-tell what is going on in my mind, or over exaggerate the opposite of what they think of you. Does any of this make sense?

So, as I was thinking about what these certain people might be thinking of me, this verse showed up on my computer screen. Immediately I felt a peace, an inside peace only found with the Lord. I then realized that even if I am not able to explain myself ever to these people, it will be okay. The quietness and confidence found in righteousness is better than a temporary confidence in explaining myself. So, maybe there will be people who have the wrong idea of me forever - don't get me wrong, bummer, right? BUT, even if that is the scenario, it will be okay and I can learn and grow and trust the Lord more. The challenge will be for me to stay faithful to a lifestyle of righteousness in the Lord moment by moment.

On a side note, I also found it interesting that it was easier for me to have people misunderstand me in a foreign culture than I am having people misunderstand me here. Maybe it is because I maybe felt most of the time people didn't understand me so it became a lifestyle. Nothing unsual, but here, there is a bigger stigma in my own heart and mind... hmmmm, something to think about.

Anyway, have a great day and here's hoping to no misunderstandings, but if there are, quietness and confidence are within reaching distance with the Lord.