a renewed humility

John and I have been in our new home (it is getting there) for almost a week and we are so thankful.  The kitchen has been painted (a nigerian flag green - so says my youngest Sami) and we are tracking our power so as to hopefully see a pattern that we can start to plan our days around.  Can you imagine, planning your days around electricity....?  it is funny, a friend Brian and I were talking about the Nigerian government and how funny it felt that they were governing the days of the people (not that this is true, but we were imagining).   But since TV and movies (people know how much I am addicted to movies) are out of the question for the most part, I have refound my love for reading, and as a matter of fact, just finished a trilogy that I read years ago by Francine Rivers (she has a new one coming out this month that I cannot wait for) called "Mark of the Lion".  I have just wept over the life of a slave girl named Hadassah, and I would say I have prayed for her as if she were a real life person.... (Yes, I know, I need more friends).  

But the lessons in this book series that just hits home is that faith in Christ is just that... faith in Christ....   It is a challenge and not easy, but the JOY of living a life fully devoted to His calling is profound and worth it even for just a moment.  Do you all remember the moment you first decided to give your whole life to Christ?  For some of you, it was when you were young so you might not have a "before I was a robber, but now I have found the blood of Christ", but some of you might have been older, a moment you recognized you couldn't keep going on the path you were on, which is more of my story.  I remember the moment I was weeping in a car alone when I was seeking the Lord for my life and I asked His Son to come into my being to save me from the path of destruction I was on, and I remember the JOY of His Son entering me and the filling of the Holy Spirit consuming me....  BUT, I can assure you when I accepted Him I didn't at the moment do it out of desire for an easy life or because it was convenient or "why not?"... it was because I was a sinner and I wanted Him to do with me whatever He wished.... whatever He wished.... I could not do it on my own --  and yet I forget so often that I made that choice to serve Him, my kind and Lord and still finding daily I forget and want my own way.  I don't want my own way!!  I mean, I think I do, but I don't.  I have tried that and it will never work.

This book has brought a renewed humility to me that has been forgotten and I weep over the JOY that is right and Holy and pure....

I want others to KNOW Him and live for Him.  He wants a renewed obedience not out of obligation but out of an overpowering of His love and goodness and desire to serve Him who saved my forever of nothingness....

I don't want to forget.  Over and over again the Old Testament talks about stones of remembrances or scrolls of remembrances or altars so we can remember what He has done and tell others about Him.  Do you forget?  I do but I don't want to and I am so thankful for books or people or songs that remind me that I need a Savior because I am a sinner......