busted

When writing on this blog, I have understood the idea that I write down thoughts, and then occasionally people comment and most I don't hear from and for sure, I don't see them....

Well, yesterday, I was busted.  I walked over to the campus where the group was staying and they started telling me that they had been on my blog in the office and enjoyed reading about them and seeing the picture and knowing how the birthday party/wildlife reserve day went.....   

I was so UGHHHH,  how embarrassing.... one never expects to see the people, at least not for months.....  They are a fun group (just in case they are reading this now) and were just giving me a hard time, but I was like,,,,, hehehe

Well, I guess if I am going to write down my confessions, it is okay for the group to know about it, huh????

God Bless

a missionary's confession

Yesterday John and I took the team to the Wildlife Reserve in our area.  We were in charge as Jason, our director, was sick.  We have run so many groups and for the most part feel comfortable in front of them, leading.   However, yesterday I was orchestrating the birthday part of the celebration and emceeing the activities for the afternoon, when it started happening.  As I was standing up front talking to the kids, team, the homes' director's and staff I started hearing two voices....  One was saying, "You are doing horrible and no one even understands you," while the other voice is saying, "Keep it together Corrie, you are fine, this doesn't need to be profound."  Have you ever had that happen to you, you start having this war of thoughts and internally you are all over the place, while externally you are leading, orchestrating and carrying on with what you should be doing?  Anyway, that is not the confession, hopefully, everyone has experienced that at some point (if not, oops, I promise I am not crazy)....

The confession is this:  So I was so rattled by the war going on in my head that I hid behind my kids the rest of the afternoon.  It is a legitimate excuse, right, it is my children.... but alas, it was still an excuse.  I know the difference.  There are times when with your children you need to be, but this was not one of them.  I literally told John that I would have them (he was doing a great job without me) while he remained taking care of group items.   I am bummed because I think I cowered in the voice of the enemy.  I really believe I chose to believe lies verses knowing who I am in Christ.   I didn't want to have to lead anymore that afternoon, because I had convinced myself that I was a terrible leader and how embarrassing for everyone else to see as well.  Isn't that crazy?  I am not saying it is crazy that I might be a bad leader, I am saying that it is crazy that I chose to respond to the voice of the enemy and shrink back.   I want to fight those thoughts and want to get passed them.  In Christ, I am more than a Conqueror and truly those words are just words unless I believe them.   I even wonder if I am hearing those wacked out thoughts because the Lord is wanting to develop some more leadership giftings in me and it takes more experience....

Anyway, there you have it, my confession....

God Bless.

a new church

This morning we went to a different church, a nigerian one, with our group, EMI.  The service started at 7:45am....  How about that for a morning service??!!  All of us women, including my two girls, wore head wraps, as is customary here in Nigeria.  I am not sure why nigerian women can wear beautiful head wraps and look very stylish and then when I put one on, I have just gained 15 pounds.... Who knows, maybe I have gained 15 pounds... I don't have a scale.  Anyway, here is proof of our nigerian morning....

 The church was great, lasting about 2 hours.  

The sermon was on Luke 22 when Jesus prays in the Garden the night when Judas betrays him.  It was such a great reminder of prayer and praying before temptation happens or praying while your marriage is still good or praying before your kids are wayward....  He reflected on his own life when it was easier to commit to praying when the crisis was at hand, not beforehand.  It encouraged John and I to have a prayer time tonight full of seeking Him before the temptation was at hand.  

We have four more days with this team and it has just helped John and I prepare for the summer groups when Jason and Emilee are not with us.  We are reminded to pray before the summer as it can appear daunting...  Everyone in Mexico who is reading this, know we miss you and your giftings....  But, God is good, and prayer grows us.

I am feeling super tired waiting for it to rain, I am going to bed.

God Bless!

anniversary

Hi everyone.... yesterday was mine and John's 14th wedding anniversary and I couldn't have asked for a better day.  We had an outreach with the group that is visiting with us and it consisted of going to the village, passing out oranges and then the team leader performed a magic show with the gospel message intertwined.  Our friend, Dave, gave a brief testimony that was so special to hear and have him be a part of every aspect of this day.  In the middle of the "show" I had a surreal moment of looking around at the most beautiful people in this little building (church) and it brought me back to before I was married.  

John reminded me just recently that I told him, while we were engaged, that someday I wanted to be a missionary in Africa.  He told me, at the time, that as much as he liked missions he felt his leading to the construction world in the States.  Our compromise was every year we would go on a mission trip.  He held true to that compromise and now we have been to India, Mexico, Hungary, Albania, and of course now we are living as missionaries in Nigeria, AFrica.  Life is funny isn't it.  

As I was looking around in this church, it was exactly how I imagined it would be.  Every smell, face, landscape.  I feel so blessed because I have a husband who is wanting to do what God is leading him to do, and I have children who are getting to see the beauty of a country other than the one they were born in and I have family and friends who "get" what it is we are doing and willing to come around us with prayer and encouragement.  And to top it off I was able to be at a small village church in Jos, Nigeria and witness around 15 people accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior - forever their futures are altered.  As well as mine and John's and our childrens!

the rains are coming

Nigeria has two seasons from what I hear... rainy season and dry season.  When we arrived and currently we are in the end of the dry season.  It is about October through March and it literally does not rain outside of brief 20 minute relapses maybe twice during these 6 months.  It is fun to hear people talking about rainy season is upon us or it smells like it is about ready to rain, or even people preparing their homes, their crops, their lifestyles to prepare for this upcoming season.  There is an excitement in the air, I, too, am excited just because it is so highly talked about.  I even hear everything turns green and lush and it looks like two different countries.  I will let you know in a couple of months.....

I was thinking about how excited I was that it might rain soon and it took me back to the New Testament and how people were talking about the return of Christ and the coming back of the Lord, it is upon us,  the urgency and excitement in the disciples conversations and lifestyles, the choices made because of the proximity of the return...  

Now it is many generations later, and I have personally lost the true excitement of it,  I didn't plan on losing the excitement, but I did.  I don't even think it will happen in my lifetime (my mom would disagree).   I wonder how I can regain a different perspective of how I live if my mindset was full of that excitement and desire for the Lord to return and for as many people to hear about Christ before it happens, because it will happen, and it is urgent that people know the truth.  I think my overall decisions would remain the same as John and I believe we are following the Lord's calling on our lives, but I wonder if my attitude or perspective on people would be different.  My dad told me not too long ago, "Corrie, we live in exciting times!"  He even had a slight grin, and I thought he lives in that moment.  I want to live in that moment and I want to live out, "We live in exciting times" or at least the rains are coming......  

God Bless,

P.S.  I just wanted to comment that I appreciated people's opinions on my last blog entry.  I enjoy them so keep it coming....

lizards and groups and wives, oh my

Lizards - they are all over, hundreds of them everywhere.... people kept telling me that we would see such fun animals here like monkeys, etc... but nothing except lizards (okay, a goats too).  They are kind of cute though, yellow/red/blue ones, brown, black and we even have one in our home that we see at night that is white with little white spots.  What makes me laugh the most is John is kind of freaked out by them, but it is maybe the one amphibian I am not freaked out by....  They are just fun little fellows that are just around...

wives - okay, something I am learning is that men can have and do have more than one wife here.  Even believing men.  Now, the believing men who have really trusted the Lord and have felt that conviction rid themselves of the extra wives, but it is a challenge because of the culture is ingrained in their upbringing.  It is way out of my thinking box; however, after learning this I went to reading the old testament (just for reading) and it is so everywhere there.  It is just an amazing concept that it still takes place in some parts of the world.  John told me he thinks one wife is a challenge enough (I think he meant blessing enough) that he cannot imagine trying to keep up with more than one.....  hehe  Again, do not mishear me, it is not openly talked about and it is not necessarily common either, it is just what it is..... some have more than one.

groups - yes, the group is here and I am so excited.  I was so nervous.  In Mexico we have groups all year round, so I had been out of the routine of being around groups, but as soon as they got here, I was so energized and ready and wanted those conversations to take place about ministry, life, the Lord.....  I praise the Lord for his Spirit to reignite that in me!!!!  The group is going well and they are a great set of engineers that will really help get some planning underway.  One lady's family is from Jos and they are hosting us for dinner one night, isn't that nice?

One last though - power, I have learned that you can have no power for about 5 hours before anything goes bad in your fridge and if I put the generator on for about an hour, it is good again for 5 hours..... just some information to pass on to you....  however, we are thrilled that in the last three days, we are receiving about 12 hours of power a day..... that is about 10 hours a day more than what we were experiencing before....  Again, we thank the Lord for the luxury of it.

Okay, thanks for listening, God Bless

period.

"The most critical breakthrough of faith you and I could ever experience is to let God bring us to a place where we trust Him - period."

What do you think of this statement?  I just read it a couple of days ago in the Esther Bible study.  I like the sentence, but how do we know if we are really trusting?  How do I know that I am not trusting in my own strength or someone else's for that matter?  Do we have to be struggling to be trusting?  If I am not struggling, am I still in a place of trust?  

John is gone is Abuja again, this time picking up a pretty large group of engineers that will remain here with us for about 12 days.  That is a long time for a group and there are so many "things" with this group that I am nervous about.... my first group while living in Africa, being a part of the schedule, but not really because my kids are home for spring break, being a part of a team that is so much smaller that I was and am responsible for things I have never had to be a part of before so I just hope people get fed!  Not seeing John much over the next two weeks because he is very intricately involved in this group and there are other things that I have prayed and trusted the Lord for, but I hope that I really do trust the Lord for them - period.  

I don't know, I am just chewing over these thoughts in my head, nothing more or less to offer - period.  That is a simple word, isn't it yet speaks volumes!  

God Bless!

encouragement

Good Morning!!

I have such much to say today and I hope I remember it all because it is good!  First, I hope everyone knows how much we have been encouraged by your comments, your "following" and your emails.  It really does spur us on in moments of discouragement.  So thank you and please don't underestimate your impact on our calling!  

Okay, also, we have had some people asking about the kids schooling?  They are loving it.  They leave and want to get there early, then they tell me I can pick them up late (not on your life as far as I am concerned, this is my first time being without them ALL DAY), and they are making friends, enjoying the extras this school has, like gym, music, art, chapel, recess, etc....  Right now, they are adjusting to the longer day (they are really tired at night and in the morning which is good).  BUT, they are very thankful as John and I are as well.

Also, yesterday, for the first time in a couple of months, I ran.... oh, it felt so good to have that time to process and think again.  The Lord really uses that time in my life to talk to me, minister to me, bring His thoughts to my own.....  OH, okay, it might have been completely exhausting and challenging physically as well, but the pros really outweigh the cons.....

Anyway, as I was running yesterday the Lord was really showing me some things about His giftings in people's lives.

I want to write the words to a song that has been ministering to me since I have moved here, and I am so thankful for my friend, Lara, who has used her gifts in music and songwriting because I have been changed by it.  It is called 

Promise Me

Will you hold me close, till your strength is mine

Can you ease a troubled soul, an anxious mind

As you bear the weight of my heavy fears

Promise me without fail, you are always near

Will you speak a little louder, words I crave

Can the truth found in them make me brave

As you forge a path for us, I can't walk alone

Promise me I will reach out and find a hand to hold

Will you laugh in my joy, in my sorrow weep

Can I trade an injured heart for one that dares to dream

As you lead me faithfully to journeys' end

Promise me I will look back on a life well spent

Oh, Promise me I will look back on a life well spent

This song's original intent was to minister to a dear friend of hers that has been diagnosed with cancer and I pray with her for her.  BUt, I am overwhelmed with the last two lines...  Do you remember how I shared that even if my biggest fears happen, the Lord is still there?  I have a fear that at the end of my life, I will look back and see where I missed HIM, the Lord.  I want to live a life well spent!  Well, as I was thinking about the words to this song (oh and by the way, she has 5 new songs and each and everyone one of them I could have written here because they have all ministered in some way to me).  When here CD comes out, I am telling you all to buy it!!  Anyway, I had an opportunity to visit Lara right before I left for Africa and she was singing these for me and I was thinking about how much her sound has changed and how much her walk with the Lord was always maturing.  ANd it struck me yesterday running that the more we are in and using our giftings from Him, we will be walking and growing because we are becoming more and more of who the Lord has created us to be.  The more I use my gifts and grow in them, the more I will be naturally growing in the Lord....  Isn't that so easy, and yet so challenging at the same time?   If I am stagnent (sp?), then I bet I could look at my life and see a place I should be ministering in but am choosing not to.

My life will be well spent using what He has given me to use and looking at Him the whole time!  That is why I am choosing to live fearlessly.  I will not regret!  So, what are my giftings and how can they be used in AFrica, what are my kids giftings and how will they be used here, John's giftings, you get the idea??!!  I will let you know....

Oh man, I need to go, I have a ceremony to go to ( I cannot wait to show you a picture of me in my Nigerian head wrap)!

God Bless

One more day.... oops

Well, last night the kids and I did well....  they slept in their new beds and thoroughly enjoyed it!!  I had a productive night, got lots of ministry things done, read a little, did a little bible study, fell asleep!  All is well; however, this morning I received a phone call from John and we read the itinerary wrong (one of the first of many mistakes I imagine), Dain actually comes in early TOMORROW morning..... It said next to his time "(next day)"... we thought that meant the very next day, but we were not paying attention and it meant 2 next days.....    SOOOOO, we give the guards off every Sunday day, they will return tonight at 6pm.  The kids and I will go to church and maybe try to go out to a little lunch place and enjoy our afternoon.  You can pray for John though because he is saddened by the fact that he will not be here for the kids first day of school.

When asked what he was going to do today, he told me he and Jason were going to go to the mall and catch a movie....  I was so jealous!!!  Then, he was like, "seriously Corrie, are you kidding me???  THERE IS NO MALL OR THEATRE HERE!!!!"  hehe I forgot!  He is a funny guy....

Hey quick thought for the day, something I am gaining about myself living here, or answering people's questions about why I would bring my kids to Jos, Nigeria...?

I am choosing to not live foolishly (even though some might think it so), but fearlessly.  Do you recognize the difference with that statement?  I could protect myself and my children right out of His calling for our lives.... and I cannot pass that on to my children.  I choose to live fearlessly!  I am asking all of you to live fearlessly with me, please.  I see by so many you already do... the moment you say yes to God's calling you have chosen to do just that... live fearlessly, trusting Him with the details and the outcome.  BECAUSE even if my biggest fear takes place, EVEN IF... then God is still there and He will wipe me off of my floor and put me back together.....  I know deep thought for so early!  Something I am chewing on for myself I am sure....  

God bless your Sabboth,

Cor

24 hours alone

Hello everybody,

I just wanted to say hi and tell you that right now John is picking up beds for our kids.... yes, they have been borrowing beds, thank you Jason and Emilee.   We also had some shelves built for our kitchen that will hold a water cleaning system...  Cannot wait!!!

So, John leaves today for Abuja with Jason to pick up our director, Dain, and Dain gets in around 4:30 in the morning tomorrow, so Jason and John are going tonight and spending the night to get to the airport in the morning to get him.  It is about a 3 1/2 hour car ride to get there and it is not wise to drive at night here, so that is why they leave after lunch today.  You could pray for the safety of the kids and I.  I am not too concerned, we have two guards that watch our property and sleep in the boys quarters that live behind our house.  They are two nice young men that are very kind and believers in Christ.  We have walked outside before and interrupted a prayer time they were having.  There is something sweet about two young men having no reserves to just pray whenever.  

So, I wanted to bring up something that I have yet to talk about for no reason, but it makes up the Nigerian culture and I would be remiss not to mention it.  It would be the Muslim influence of Jos, Nigeria.    This city is 50% christian and 50% muslim.  For the most part, muslim/christian live next door from one another amicably.   It is a very large influence that seems more factual than emotional or even spiritual.  For example, when I shop at the market, there are the muslim market areas and there are christian market areas.  Both shop at both without much thought.  The biggest thing I have noticed is EVERY morning at 5:30am we are awoken to loud speakers all around the neighborhoods with muslim prayers and songs.  It reminds me of what I picture politicians doing in the past, traveling around in a car encouraging the people to vote for him.  It is quite the morning routine.  I think eventually I will get used to the sound, maybe like someone who stays at someone's home that owns a grandfather clock.  The first night you hear the every 15 minute chime, but by the end of the week, you forget they even own one because you don't hear but occasionally.  I am interested to understood the relationship more.  I will keep you posted as I learn more.  

Anyway, there you have it.  I need to go because we just ran out of power and we cannot run our generator long right now.  I need it for tonight when John is gone.  You all have a good day.

God Bless,

Cor

to a nigerian's house we go

It has been awhile, and things have picked up here a bit.  Life here is much simpler in some ways (like never using a hairdryer, but I will talk about that in a  moment), but things seem to take longer.  So since we have last met I have been invited to two nigerians home and I have been struck by some things... ready?

1.  The first one was a dinner invitation for my whole family and Jason and Brian.  We get there and they are not even there yet (and we even get there late), one is getting her hair done in town and the other went to the grocery store to buy some items.... then we are hanging out with each other in their dining room when the sun goes down and things become very dark....  Meanwhile, they get home, are in the kitchen cooking and my kids are playing outside with some kids, chickens and some dogs... when it is time to eat, they sit us at the table and they don't join us.... and it is very dark... (so we are not quite sure what it is we are eating - it was chicken, but we just couldn't see it).  So we eat in the dark and it was so awkward for me.  I find myself so surprised as to not knowing what to say to my own family or to Jason and Brian.  Wierd huh?  People I completely know and yet very awkward....  They eventually bring some stools into the dining room and join us in conversation.  Still completely dark.

2.  Just a couple days ago, I go to a woman friends house to drop her off and she invites me in.  I walk in (middle of the day) and her house is completely dark!!  They have the curtains pulled and it is sooo dark.  Isn't that so different?

- so I pull a few observations out of this about myself.....  one, as an american I have been trained that you care about your home.  I will spend hours and dollars "creating" my home so it "looks" like I want it to look like...  I am not saying it is a sin caring about the way your house looks, but I wonder if I have taken an idea and gone too far with it.  I want my house to be a refuge and a haven, but to what expense, I wonder....   

- what I could have taken as rude with our guests not joining us for dinner and in the dark.. is really them putting us first and actually just not caring about the power/electric thing.  They are used to it and they wanted us to have a good meal and we enjoyed each other without even having the "seeing" eyes of what there house looks like, what are they wearing, who is doing what, etc....  (now it took me some time to get past the awkwardness).  When all was said and done, my whole family had a good time and were struck that we were creating Nigerian friendships.  And the night was good, holy, pure, uplifting and fun!

I really wish I could give you some pictures of our home, but we have truly lost our camera cord and so it is only when I can be at the right place at the right time that I am able to download some pictures onto our blog... bummer too, because you would like themmm

Now, here are some details on life:  you will notice the sharp contrast to what I just wrote above to my person.  

1.  My kids start school on Monday.  I am very thankful and I think it will help me with flexibility to learn more about the ministry before summer.  

2.  I just hung up some curtains in our main room and office and hung up our mexico paintings and I love it so much more... (see what I am saying).  It is beginning to feel like my home... I cannot decide yet if this is okay or not??

3.  We have been living without a mirror since we have been here (I want all of you to try not looking at a mirror at all for one month), and yesterday I bought some.  Well, I was taken aback by my hair.... isn't that funny.  I was like, EWWWW, look at my hair.... not much that can be done except do with it what I can for now... it is just a stage.  But isn't that funny, I haven't cared too much about it not seeing it, but the moment I "see" I am discontent....  Now, I think there is a sermon out of that thought!!  A deep thought for another day though.  Oh yes, and the hairdryer thing is history.  We cannot use them.  Now being here, I am like bummer I wasted the luggage space for a hairdryer, but live and learn....

I am learning the culture and I am learning about my previous Corrie culture and I am wanting to find the balance.... pray that it will come.  

God Willing, it will.

God Bless

The Kids

Hey there,

I have had people ask me about how the kids are doing and how their tests went.  Well,  I thought I would let them respond personally with an answer to three questions....

1.  What has their favorite thing been living in Africa?

2.  What has been the hardest challenge or what surprised them?

3.  One prayer request.

To let you all know, the testing went wonderful, we will find out soon what the results were and John and I have been so pleased with how they have transitioned and how they are remaining so flexible with the changed schedule each day holds....  Thank you for your prayers for them.

okay, here they are:

SAMI

1.  The new school that she might go to.  She likes the campus a lot.  

2.  Making friends has been a challenge so far.

3.  So of course, her prayer request is to get into school and to make friends (Clearly she is my social one)

GUS

1.  That there is some american food here (from a parents perspective, very expensive)

2.  Gus was super surprised how windy it was here in Jos.

3.  His prayer request is that he would make friends.

SARAH

1.  She loves that there are soooo many potatos here for every meal.

2.  It has been a challenge being away from her friends.

3.  That she will make friends quickly.

Well, there you have it.... I sense they are missing the community in which they are coming from where the closest friends lived next door and were available to play almost all the time.  I also think they are getting tired of mom teaching; however, they are being troopers with it, staying positive in their studies and attitude.

John and I pulled out photo albums last night with the kids and just laughed remembering silly moments or recalling friendships that have changed us....  which by the way, thank you to all of you have made a photo album for us... we love them and we brought them all.  I would never have made them and yet I love them so much.

We love you all and God Bless!

a renewed humility

John and I have been in our new home (it is getting there) for almost a week and we are so thankful.  The kitchen has been painted (a nigerian flag green - so says my youngest Sami) and we are tracking our power so as to hopefully see a pattern that we can start to plan our days around.  Can you imagine, planning your days around electricity....?  it is funny, a friend Brian and I were talking about the Nigerian government and how funny it felt that they were governing the days of the people (not that this is true, but we were imagining).   But since TV and movies (people know how much I am addicted to movies) are out of the question for the most part, I have refound my love for reading, and as a matter of fact, just finished a trilogy that I read years ago by Francine Rivers (she has a new one coming out this month that I cannot wait for) called "Mark of the Lion".  I have just wept over the life of a slave girl named Hadassah, and I would say I have prayed for her as if she were a real life person.... (Yes, I know, I need more friends).  

But the lessons in this book series that just hits home is that faith in Christ is just that... faith in Christ....   It is a challenge and not easy, but the JOY of living a life fully devoted to His calling is profound and worth it even for just a moment.  Do you all remember the moment you first decided to give your whole life to Christ?  For some of you, it was when you were young so you might not have a "before I was a robber, but now I have found the blood of Christ", but some of you might have been older, a moment you recognized you couldn't keep going on the path you were on, which is more of my story.  I remember the moment I was weeping in a car alone when I was seeking the Lord for my life and I asked His Son to come into my being to save me from the path of destruction I was on, and I remember the JOY of His Son entering me and the filling of the Holy Spirit consuming me....  BUT, I can assure you when I accepted Him I didn't at the moment do it out of desire for an easy life or because it was convenient or "why not?"... it was because I was a sinner and I wanted Him to do with me whatever He wished.... whatever He wished.... I could not do it on my own --  and yet I forget so often that I made that choice to serve Him, my kind and Lord and still finding daily I forget and want my own way.  I don't want my own way!!  I mean, I think I do, but I don't.  I have tried that and it will never work.

This book has brought a renewed humility to me that has been forgotten and I weep over the JOY that is right and Holy and pure....

I want others to KNOW Him and live for Him.  He wants a renewed obedience not out of obligation but out of an overpowering of His love and goodness and desire to serve Him who saved my forever of nothingness....

I don't want to forget.  Over and over again the Old Testament talks about stones of remembrances or scrolls of remembrances or altars so we can remember what He has done and tell others about Him.  Do you forget?  I do but I don't want to and I am so thankful for books or people or songs that remind me that I need a Savior because I am a sinner......

FROM JOHN

Just wanted to say hello and thank all of you who are praying for us.  Corrie shared that we moved into our rental yesterday.  It was an interesting experience getting it ready.  The landlord "Buyo" is super kind and did a great job cleaning and painting the place.  I spent most of my time in the bathrooms.  We have two bathrooms with showers, sinks and toilets.  The two showers didn't work so I attempted to rework the plumbing a bit.  Now we have two showers that look like the ones you use at summer camp with all the pvc/galvanized pipe exposed.  They work okay now. We bought one small water heater for one of the bathrooms for now and hope to get another one soon for the other.  

I have learned a lot about the differences of "wants" and "needs".  I often say I need a lot of things when in reality, I just want them. (This excludes cookie dough and peanut butter).  We can get by without a lot more than we think.  I used to blame Corrie for being the one who wanted the creature comforts, but in reality it is me that needs/wants them.   In reality things are good and we are so grateful to have a place so close to Jason and Emilee's/Group housing. 

Please pray as we continue to adjust and also prepare for the EMI team that is coming.  This is the team that is going to work on the master-plan of the village property.  They arrive on March 19th.