busted

When writing on this blog, I have understood the idea that I write down thoughts, and then occasionally people comment and most I don't hear from and for sure, I don't see them....

Well, yesterday, I was busted.  I walked over to the campus where the group was staying and they started telling me that they had been on my blog in the office and enjoyed reading about them and seeing the picture and knowing how the birthday party/wildlife reserve day went.....   

I was so UGHHHH,  how embarrassing.... one never expects to see the people, at least not for months.....  They are a fun group (just in case they are reading this now) and were just giving me a hard time, but I was like,,,,, hehehe

Well, I guess if I am going to write down my confessions, it is okay for the group to know about it, huh????

God Bless

a missionary's confession

Yesterday John and I took the team to the Wildlife Reserve in our area.  We were in charge as Jason, our director, was sick.  We have run so many groups and for the most part feel comfortable in front of them, leading.   However, yesterday I was orchestrating the birthday part of the celebration and emceeing the activities for the afternoon, when it started happening.  As I was standing up front talking to the kids, team, the homes' director's and staff I started hearing two voices....  One was saying, "You are doing horrible and no one even understands you," while the other voice is saying, "Keep it together Corrie, you are fine, this doesn't need to be profound."  Have you ever had that happen to you, you start having this war of thoughts and internally you are all over the place, while externally you are leading, orchestrating and carrying on with what you should be doing?  Anyway, that is not the confession, hopefully, everyone has experienced that at some point (if not, oops, I promise I am not crazy)....

The confession is this:  So I was so rattled by the war going on in my head that I hid behind my kids the rest of the afternoon.  It is a legitimate excuse, right, it is my children.... but alas, it was still an excuse.  I know the difference.  There are times when with your children you need to be, but this was not one of them.  I literally told John that I would have them (he was doing a great job without me) while he remained taking care of group items.   I am bummed because I think I cowered in the voice of the enemy.  I really believe I chose to believe lies verses knowing who I am in Christ.   I didn't want to have to lead anymore that afternoon, because I had convinced myself that I was a terrible leader and how embarrassing for everyone else to see as well.  Isn't that crazy?  I am not saying it is crazy that I might be a bad leader, I am saying that it is crazy that I chose to respond to the voice of the enemy and shrink back.   I want to fight those thoughts and want to get passed them.  In Christ, I am more than a Conqueror and truly those words are just words unless I believe them.   I even wonder if I am hearing those wacked out thoughts because the Lord is wanting to develop some more leadership giftings in me and it takes more experience....

Anyway, there you have it, my confession....

God Bless.

a new church

This morning we went to a different church, a nigerian one, with our group, EMI.  The service started at 7:45am....  How about that for a morning service??!!  All of us women, including my two girls, wore head wraps, as is customary here in Nigeria.  I am not sure why nigerian women can wear beautiful head wraps and look very stylish and then when I put one on, I have just gained 15 pounds.... Who knows, maybe I have gained 15 pounds... I don't have a scale.  Anyway, here is proof of our nigerian morning....

 The church was great, lasting about 2 hours.  

The sermon was on Luke 22 when Jesus prays in the Garden the night when Judas betrays him.  It was such a great reminder of prayer and praying before temptation happens or praying while your marriage is still good or praying before your kids are wayward....  He reflected on his own life when it was easier to commit to praying when the crisis was at hand, not beforehand.  It encouraged John and I to have a prayer time tonight full of seeking Him before the temptation was at hand.  

We have four more days with this team and it has just helped John and I prepare for the summer groups when Jason and Emilee are not with us.  We are reminded to pray before the summer as it can appear daunting...  Everyone in Mexico who is reading this, know we miss you and your giftings....  But, God is good, and prayer grows us.

I am feeling super tired waiting for it to rain, I am going to bed.

God Bless!

anniversary

Hi everyone.... yesterday was mine and John's 14th wedding anniversary and I couldn't have asked for a better day.  We had an outreach with the group that is visiting with us and it consisted of going to the village, passing out oranges and then the team leader performed a magic show with the gospel message intertwined.  Our friend, Dave, gave a brief testimony that was so special to hear and have him be a part of every aspect of this day.  In the middle of the "show" I had a surreal moment of looking around at the most beautiful people in this little building (church) and it brought me back to before I was married.  

John reminded me just recently that I told him, while we were engaged, that someday I wanted to be a missionary in Africa.  He told me, at the time, that as much as he liked missions he felt his leading to the construction world in the States.  Our compromise was every year we would go on a mission trip.  He held true to that compromise and now we have been to India, Mexico, Hungary, Albania, and of course now we are living as missionaries in Nigeria, AFrica.  Life is funny isn't it.  

As I was looking around in this church, it was exactly how I imagined it would be.  Every smell, face, landscape.  I feel so blessed because I have a husband who is wanting to do what God is leading him to do, and I have children who are getting to see the beauty of a country other than the one they were born in and I have family and friends who "get" what it is we are doing and willing to come around us with prayer and encouragement.  And to top it off I was able to be at a small village church in Jos, Nigeria and witness around 15 people accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior - forever their futures are altered.  As well as mine and John's and our childrens!

the rains are coming

Nigeria has two seasons from what I hear... rainy season and dry season.  When we arrived and currently we are in the end of the dry season.  It is about October through March and it literally does not rain outside of brief 20 minute relapses maybe twice during these 6 months.  It is fun to hear people talking about rainy season is upon us or it smells like it is about ready to rain, or even people preparing their homes, their crops, their lifestyles to prepare for this upcoming season.  There is an excitement in the air, I, too, am excited just because it is so highly talked about.  I even hear everything turns green and lush and it looks like two different countries.  I will let you know in a couple of months.....

I was thinking about how excited I was that it might rain soon and it took me back to the New Testament and how people were talking about the return of Christ and the coming back of the Lord, it is upon us,  the urgency and excitement in the disciples conversations and lifestyles, the choices made because of the proximity of the return...  

Now it is many generations later, and I have personally lost the true excitement of it,  I didn't plan on losing the excitement, but I did.  I don't even think it will happen in my lifetime (my mom would disagree).   I wonder how I can regain a different perspective of how I live if my mindset was full of that excitement and desire for the Lord to return and for as many people to hear about Christ before it happens, because it will happen, and it is urgent that people know the truth.  I think my overall decisions would remain the same as John and I believe we are following the Lord's calling on our lives, but I wonder if my attitude or perspective on people would be different.  My dad told me not too long ago, "Corrie, we live in exciting times!"  He even had a slight grin, and I thought he lives in that moment.  I want to live in that moment and I want to live out, "We live in exciting times" or at least the rains are coming......  

God Bless,

P.S.  I just wanted to comment that I appreciated people's opinions on my last blog entry.  I enjoy them so keep it coming....

lizards and groups and wives, oh my

Lizards - they are all over, hundreds of them everywhere.... people kept telling me that we would see such fun animals here like monkeys, etc... but nothing except lizards (okay, a goats too).  They are kind of cute though, yellow/red/blue ones, brown, black and we even have one in our home that we see at night that is white with little white spots.  What makes me laugh the most is John is kind of freaked out by them, but it is maybe the one amphibian I am not freaked out by....  They are just fun little fellows that are just around...

wives - okay, something I am learning is that men can have and do have more than one wife here.  Even believing men.  Now, the believing men who have really trusted the Lord and have felt that conviction rid themselves of the extra wives, but it is a challenge because of the culture is ingrained in their upbringing.  It is way out of my thinking box; however, after learning this I went to reading the old testament (just for reading) and it is so everywhere there.  It is just an amazing concept that it still takes place in some parts of the world.  John told me he thinks one wife is a challenge enough (I think he meant blessing enough) that he cannot imagine trying to keep up with more than one.....  hehe  Again, do not mishear me, it is not openly talked about and it is not necessarily common either, it is just what it is..... some have more than one.

groups - yes, the group is here and I am so excited.  I was so nervous.  In Mexico we have groups all year round, so I had been out of the routine of being around groups, but as soon as they got here, I was so energized and ready and wanted those conversations to take place about ministry, life, the Lord.....  I praise the Lord for his Spirit to reignite that in me!!!!  The group is going well and they are a great set of engineers that will really help get some planning underway.  One lady's family is from Jos and they are hosting us for dinner one night, isn't that nice?

One last though - power, I have learned that you can have no power for about 5 hours before anything goes bad in your fridge and if I put the generator on for about an hour, it is good again for 5 hours..... just some information to pass on to you....  however, we are thrilled that in the last three days, we are receiving about 12 hours of power a day..... that is about 10 hours a day more than what we were experiencing before....  Again, we thank the Lord for the luxury of it.

Okay, thanks for listening, God Bless

period.

"The most critical breakthrough of faith you and I could ever experience is to let God bring us to a place where we trust Him - period."

What do you think of this statement?  I just read it a couple of days ago in the Esther Bible study.  I like the sentence, but how do we know if we are really trusting?  How do I know that I am not trusting in my own strength or someone else's for that matter?  Do we have to be struggling to be trusting?  If I am not struggling, am I still in a place of trust?  

John is gone is Abuja again, this time picking up a pretty large group of engineers that will remain here with us for about 12 days.  That is a long time for a group and there are so many "things" with this group that I am nervous about.... my first group while living in Africa, being a part of the schedule, but not really because my kids are home for spring break, being a part of a team that is so much smaller that I was and am responsible for things I have never had to be a part of before so I just hope people get fed!  Not seeing John much over the next two weeks because he is very intricately involved in this group and there are other things that I have prayed and trusted the Lord for, but I hope that I really do trust the Lord for them - period.  

I don't know, I am just chewing over these thoughts in my head, nothing more or less to offer - period.  That is a simple word, isn't it yet speaks volumes!  

God Bless!