stubborn

So, this morning John and I got into a little tiff.  I really am probably very frustrating for him at times with my stubbornness.  I would imagine any of my friends have also experienced my stubbornness at times and have also felt frustrated with me.  So, I want to say off the bat - thanks for being willing to remain faithful as a friend.

I am not good at managing people, nor do I want to become good at it.  I am also not good at cooking, nor do I want to become good at it.  So there is the background, here is the problem.  Today, it was decided that our househelp should step it up a notch and start cooking for us.  It will help me with time and it will help us fill her schedule.  BUT, for that to happen, it means me having to be in the kitchen with her for the next week or so to kind of show her "first time through" with recipes that we enjoy.  I would rather do anything else in the whole wide world than this.  It is me having to manage her tightly on top of being in the kitchen.  NOW, I know you are thinking, but it will help me in the long run not be in the kitchen.  I know, I know, but it doesn't mean that I still want this next week to happen.  I don't.   So, you can imagine John's frustration as he is exasperated with me (because I basically tell him he must be the one to do it since he wants it - I know it is ugly of me).  Because I can be like a cooked spaghetti noodle that you are trying to push uphill, in these scenarios.  For the record, it doesn't happen very often and my son, Gus, is just like this.  It doesn't work too well, does it.  

Anyway, as it is quiet in our car because "I just cannot talk to him anymore about it" I recall a sentence in a book I have just finished, "How we live our days is how we live our lives."  Ughhh...  conviction.  I, at times, just choose to not grow, not want to grow or even care that I don't want to grow.  That is an ugly trait.   If I know these next couple of weeks in the kitchen will improve our house, our househelp, etc... why wouldn't I be willing to do it?  I am way too convenient minded.  It is not convenient for me to be a part of the solution therefore, I don't want to be a part of the solution.  I have been really trying to listen and obey God and it is hard when it is way too easy for me to be comfortable.  You know what I mean?

Anyway, as I was getting ready for the morning (which by the way, it is absolutely beautiful outside - I want to go on a picnic and hike), I resolved to the idea of listening and obeying and doing it 100%.  I really don't want the character of my life to show itself by my stubborn days.

So, as my mind shifts towards submission (which is how it feels truly) I get this renewed energy to be a part of every aspect and run with it.  It was like a new life took over.  Man, why don't I choose submission more often.  This isn't so bad.  I all of a sudden had ideas for foods, I had ideas for other areas in my life as well that I had been struggling with and it was so cool.   Is this the abundant life?  Is this fruit to obedience?   I am guessing, not always, but this morning, it is right and I am thankful and I do want to not be a cooked spaghetti noodle (at least not always - hey it is a process right?).  ANyway, what started out as a little tiff between husband and wife ended with a spiritual lesson for me.   Stubbornness can be shifted and transformed and choosing obedience will always benefit the one who needs to obey.  Each and every time.  

"How we live our days, is our we live our lives."  I want my life to be lived with obedience and submission to Christ.   YAHOO!!  I say that with excitement!  Man, God is good.