So, as Dale and Eileen are here we have been busy, visiting places, going to the kids' school, fixing broken parts, spending time with them, also working to prep for summer, I have forgotten that there are other parts of the world moving forward.
When I first moved here, I recognized the sacrifice daily of missing friendships, or missing out on what was taking place in MEX, NC, OH, IN, NY or anywhere I had a connection. My little sister had a baby, my sister-in-law is soon to have one, our director's wife is about ready to have her baby and the list goes on with things I have missed and will miss. BUT, what has struck me is the "time will distance you" thought is showing itself. I don't necessarily sense the sacrifice moments, and life is getting full here. I hear from friends and family and I feel the slight change in being farther removed from what is going on. I feel sad.
Is it still a sacrifice then? Living here? I don't know. Big picture, Yes, I think so. I am not living in my country or even in a close culture, and I am missing out on things happening, but when this becomes normal, is it still considered sacrifice?
I think what is hardest for me is the awareness of this becoming normal and not feeling the "loss" as much. That scares me more than the culture shock did or the "what in the world am I doing here?" thought. So as life moves forward, I feel torn with wanting to make sure I keep up, you feeling connected to me, me feeling connected to you.... afraid to let go of what has been and embrace the here I am now..... It is becoming natural for me to want to embrace the here I am now.... and that I am fighting against. Because I still care what is going on. I still care that I have missed my sister's baby being born and I still care that my friends are making huge decisions without me by their side. But, now I care differently, I care for them, as people, therefore I care what is going on. It is no longer a I care because I cannot be there or I care because I feel sad on missing out.... is this a maturing thing? I am no longer the focal point of the caring, it is them that I am caring for now. I would like to think it is a more pure "care" but I just don't know anymore.
Sacrifice is a funny thing. Every decision we all make requires some measure of it. I don't want to be scared of it. I am guessing if I feel the sadness of awareness of distance there is a bit of sacrifice still involved... I even think, man, if this no longer is a sacrifice, what will the Lord ask me to sacrifice next? and how soon.....? But I guess for now, I continue to move forward and I allow the space to be there that shows itself to be the absence of what is taking place on the other side of the world.
I do still care though...... just in a different way than before.
Don't you think this is healthy? If you still stayed so connected to this part of the world you would not be allowing yourself to connect to that part. I know you still love me even if I can't hear from you all the time. I'm grateful God is sharing you with others. I learn lots from you now just like before, but differently. Love ya, Sista
ReplyDeleteI agree with the "Cath" post above. . .healthy it is. . .God just changed your direction of focus. . .and like "Cath" I am learning buckets from you (as usual). . .even the disturbing thoughts about sacrifice. . .can really identify with that one. . ."what's next"??? Only know that whatever comes my job is to bring Him glory. . .not sure if I have done an admirable job with that in the past. . .but now we have a future. . .a grandchild due in Dec -
ReplyDeleteI think it is like high school algebra (give me a little leeway here and some humor please! LOL)
ReplyDelete... If two trains leave the station at the same time and train 'A' takes route '123' and train 'B' takes route '456' and both trains eventually terminate in 'The Promised Land' ...
Did they pass each other?
Did they see the same things?
Was one train more blessed or less blessed than the other?
Were the friends that traveled on separate trains still friends when they arrived at their destination?
Corrie we ALL, as believers in the resurrected Christ, are headed to the same destination! Yet God has a different plan for each of us and sees fit to bless us with friendships that may begin here on earth (even if only for a short time), but last for E-T-E-R-N-I-T-Y! So yes, I agree with you that it is a sacrifice (the awareness of the emptiness once filled by friends and family). But I also think that it is the sweet aroma of Abba Father that blesses us with loving friends and family that live separate lives FOR HIM, while we serve Him as He's called us.
My 'best friend in Christ' moved away several years ago and there was such an ache in my heart for my 'loss'. The distance has not changed our friendship, our love for each other, or our commitment to see each other through what God is calling us towards. The distance makes phone calls and emails feel like the BIGGEST GIFTS! We are both confident and yet tender as we speak God's Truth into each others' lives, we live transparently and boldly unhindered by 'expectations', and I dare say we are better friends today than we were when she moved.
God works in all our circumstances, even the sad realization that some things will not be the same as they were, and that in our obedience we may miss out on some 'good' things that we would otherwise have experienced in our lives.
Without one experience we would not recognize the other ... that makes this sacrifice and 'loss' you are recognizing a blessing too.
I miss you!
LAW, I couldn't have said it better myself!
ReplyDelete"My 'best friend in Christ' moved away several years ago and there was such an ache in my heart for my 'loss'. The distance has not changed our friendship, our love for each other, or our commitment to see each other through what God is calling us towards. The distance makes phone calls and emails feel like the BIGGEST GIFTS! We are both confident and yet tender as we speak God's Truth into each others' lives, we live transparently and boldly unhindered by 'expectations', and I dare say we are better friends today than we were when she moved. "
GOD sometimes moves us away from those to whom we feel the "closest" connections so that HE can do His work more effectively IN us and THROUGH us, while still granting us the opportunity to be encouraged by someone who is no longer in the day-to-day-"ness" of our lives.
Cor,
ReplyDeleteI think you are enlarging your connections and discovering you can connect and stay connected with many, many, many, many people. I am watching you up close these days and am experiencing an amazing person being delighted and surprised by her own wonderful relationship gifts.
I suspect sacrifice is a mysterious thing and experience. As new people and connections continue to fill your day to day life the "sacrifice" will move to joy and celebration as your gifts grow. I am so amazed by your faith as you daily share with everyone around and away from you.
"Dad"
For all those you have left in a non-selfish way, you have become a becon to women in your new home and a lamp-light for those of us far away. I look forward to your new days, I have drawn inspiration from you, even though we have never met and look forward to your life teachings each time I log on. Keep your lamp-light looking forward, the rest of us are, to some extent, searching it out.
ReplyDeleteJohn, Corrie, Sarah, Gus and Sami -
ReplyDeleteI continue to love to read your BLOG and you all are such an inspiration for sharing your "sacrifices and daily challenges" that I can only get out of my own selfish ways and say, "Stop it!" with all of simple and complex luxuries we take for granted every day! Praying for a visit to see you all in 2010!
Mark Weller